Process Notes
CeremonyLM:
A Community Language Model
What to expect from process notes:
Interviews with the team, Research, Learning, ReflectionsThis reflection was from June 12, 2024.
An Introduction:
I’m currently sitting in Moments Cafe (highly recommend). I was just chatting with the owner and his friend, a medical student, who was here the last time. I shared my plans to go to Portugal on a 3-month research residency in the fall. I am still applying for jobs in Toronto for 2025. I am trying to be open to whatever happens next. I've let go of the jobs I had here; I'm letting go of my apartment. The friend told me she felt like I was an "unscratched lottery ticket." I really enjoyed the sentiment in her response. Mostly, I loved the spectrum of emotions it captured. She pinpointed the lack of groundedness I've been feeling post-graduation and the stage of transition I'm in.
Ultimately, I’m wondering what the technological shifts we’re experiencing mean, specifically for our relationships and ability to reflect in education and learning.
The possibilities of a lottery ticket are endless, potent, hopeful, and electrifying - but there is an equal chance that the ticket has nothing else to offer other than the idea of opportunity and the few seconds of fun you get while playing the game. I am hopeful about this digital project and my next steps with CEREMONY. Still, I can't lie that my feeling of hope shares space with another, genuine feeling inside of me that's wrestling with the possibility my lottery ticket has nothing underneath it.
![]()
![]()
I could go on about this metaphor, but I settled in on how powerful the idea of possibility is. Despite the unknown, hope keeps us coming back to take a chance on anything. I've been told that the ultimate chance is the one we take on ourselves and I feel this sentiment deeply right now. I applied for this grant as an independent artist. I can't offload the blame to anyone else if I come up short. Grant writing felt a lot like convincing a jury that they might win on my lottery ticket - these process notes document me and us, scratching the ticket and uncovering what's underneath.
Over roughly 13 months, I will share the learning journey and I hope to have a prototype at the end that the public can play with.
With this language model project, I want to emphasize an ability to pause and wrestle with these questions before we jump to answers or throw our hands up in the air and surrender to media hype around AI.
Ultimately, I’m wondering what the technological shifts we’re experiencing mean, specifically for our relationships and ability to reflect in education and learning.
The possibilities of a lottery ticket are endless, potent, hopeful, and electrifying - but there is an equal chance that the ticket has nothing else to offer other than the idea of opportunity and the few seconds of fun you get while playing the game. I am hopeful about this digital project and my next steps with CEREMONY. Still, I can't lie that my feeling of hope shares space with another, genuine feeling inside of me that's wrestling with the possibility my lottery ticket has nothing underneath it.
I could go on about this metaphor, but I settled in on how powerful the idea of possibility is. Despite the unknown, hope keeps us coming back to take a chance on anything. I've been told that the ultimate chance is the one we take on ourselves and I feel this sentiment deeply right now. I applied for this grant as an independent artist. I can't offload the blame to anyone else if I come up short. Grant writing felt a lot like convincing a jury that they might win on my lottery ticket - these process notes document me and us, scratching the ticket and uncovering what's underneath.
Over roughly 13 months, I will share the learning journey and I hope to have a prototype at the end that the public can play with.
With this language model project, I want to emphasize an ability to pause and wrestle with these questions before we jump to answers or throw our hands up in the air and surrender to media hype around AI.
Me attempting to “volg” my first reflection:
What I’m Asking:
In the sphere of AI research, there isn’t much I’m asking that other people aren’t. Ultimately, I’m wondering what the technological shifts we’re experiencing mean, specifically for our relationships and ability to reflect in education and learning. I’m wondering how technology and its role in our lives impact our capacity for complexity and nuance in ourselves and in relationships. With this language model project, I want to emphasize an ability to pause and wrestle with these questions before we jump to answers or throw our hands up in the air and surrender to media hype around AI. I welcome everyone following this project to sit in these questions with me for a while.
A Final Note:
In an interview with a residency in Lisbon, I was asked what the most significant challenge I'm facing is while building an ambitious project like this (especially as a non-technocrat). My answer resonated with the interviewer and their own experience embarking on digital projects as artists, non-technocrats, and non-academics. I don't know why I continue to be surprised by the resonance, but I breathed a sigh of relief when he said he understood what I meant. The second we share something about ourselves with someone else, we are usually confronted with the fact that we rarely experience anything alone. This knowledge draws me to a residency experience in general. It is also why I shared with him that returning to my letters of support helps me through any challenge, be it imposter syndrome or the learning curve I'm experiencing. The challenges never get easier, but knowing I'm not alone makes them manageable.
The second we share something about ourselves with someone else, we are usually confronted with the fact that we rarely experience anything alone.
![]()
Overall, I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to make the thing I'm hoping to make - a community-based, generative language model that encourages the creation of art by any participant who engages with it ... that ultimately contributes to an ever-changing digital library of community works… I want to expand the work to include sound and movement so that it isn't limited by words. I understand that what I just wrote is beyond my current skill level - almost to a laughable extent - but I also understand and truly believe in the power of support and sharing skills. I also believe in the necessity of celebrating "novices" and validating the questions we come up with when we aren't seeped in "expertise."
I understand that what I just wrote is beyond my current skill level - almost to a laughable extent - but I also understand and truly believe in the power of support and sharing skills.
![]()
I truly believe our eyes are wide open when we know next to nothing about a subject. Throughout this process, I'm intentionally trying to keep mine open for as long as possible. I welcome others into this staring contest with machine learning. We can stand, stare, and experience the spectrum of emotions that come with seeing what has been pruned out of our vision by the "experts." When we see something we don't like, we can turn to each other and ask, are you seeing this, too? Or, when we see something we do like that we haven't considered, a new perspective, we can also ask, are you seeing this too? I may not know much about language models yet, but one thing I know deeply is I will always need others to ground any learning journey. On that note, I will introduce the team helping me along in the follow-up process notes.
I welcome others into this staring contest with machine learning. We can stand, stare, and experience the spectrum of emotions that come with seeing what has been pruned out of our vision by the "experts." When we see something ... we can turn to each other and ask, are you seeing this, too?
![]()
The second we share something about ourselves with someone else, we are usually confronted with the fact that we rarely experience anything alone.
Overall, I'm scared that I'm not going to be able to make the thing I'm hoping to make - a community-based, generative language model that encourages the creation of art by any participant who engages with it ... that ultimately contributes to an ever-changing digital library of community works… I want to expand the work to include sound and movement so that it isn't limited by words. I understand that what I just wrote is beyond my current skill level - almost to a laughable extent - but I also understand and truly believe in the power of support and sharing skills. I also believe in the necessity of celebrating "novices" and validating the questions we come up with when we aren't seeped in "expertise."
I understand that what I just wrote is beyond my current skill level - almost to a laughable extent - but I also understand and truly believe in the power of support and sharing skills.
I truly believe our eyes are wide open when we know next to nothing about a subject. Throughout this process, I'm intentionally trying to keep mine open for as long as possible. I welcome others into this staring contest with machine learning. We can stand, stare, and experience the spectrum of emotions that come with seeing what has been pruned out of our vision by the "experts." When we see something we don't like, we can turn to each other and ask, are you seeing this, too? Or, when we see something we do like that we haven't considered, a new perspective, we can also ask, are you seeing this too? I may not know much about language models yet, but one thing I know deeply is I will always need others to ground any learning journey. On that note, I will introduce the team helping me along in the follow-up process notes.
I welcome others into this staring contest with machine learning. We can stand, stare, and experience the spectrum of emotions that come with seeing what has been pruned out of our vision by the "experts." When we see something ... we can turn to each other and ask, are you seeing this, too?
BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE PROJECT
Ceremony is a web platform that hosts an evolving catalogue of community conversations. The content is designed to bring together works by both professional and emerging artists. This project will build a live language model with the catalogue, allowing readers to participate in the creation of art via an interface designed with equity and accessibility in mind. The project aims to democratize digital tools, increase digital and data literacy through discussion, and pave the way for other creative and accessible AI applications within the artistic community.